(In my previous article here, I published the anguished composite letter that I answer below. To appreciate this response, I urge you to read the initial composite letter of inquiry, perhaps even again. It was drawn from a composite of scores of non-Jews who have written me or met personally with me over the past 43 years of my rabbinic work. The common theme: people trying to convert to Judaism but not knowing the sociological, cultural, denominational, or practical intricacies of Judaism and its Weltanschauung — and, bottom line, baffled even as to how to proceed and unsure who is legitimate and whose “conversions” will be rejected and have to be started all over again “from scratch” with more reliable and authentic rabbinical bodies. I respond below.)
Dear Ms. Goldstein,
I have read your passionate letter with deep empathy. Despite the demands of my life (three careers, family, and a challenging illness), I am prioritizing your outreach to me. I say this because some of what will follow may seem harsh and dismissive. However, the reality is precisely the opposite: I am direct here and frank at times because you “have paid your dues” (so far) and therefore deserve the truth. You have been misled enough, and I believe you can handle the truth. I am on your side.
First, I recognize that your prior rabbis helped you select two lovely Hebrew names for your new self: Shira Anat. That was part of your rabbinically certified Reform Judaism and Conservative Judaism “conversions” to Judaism. However, the truth is that you remain Katherine Mary. You still are not Jewish. Not “a little bit Jewish.” Not “almost Jewish.” Rather, still completely non-Jewish. If you want to eat a ham sandwich with a slice of cheese while driving on Yom Kippur, that is perfectly fine because you are not Jewish; I would urge only that you not text while driving.
A Reform Judaism “conversion” is a nullity. It means absolutely nothing. Even your Conservative Judaism rabbi has told you that. You had no mikveh; your son had no circumcision. You were not taught critical elements of Judaism. There were other material lacunae as well. Since even your Conservative Rabbi rejected your Reform Rabbi “conversion,” I see no need to add to her assessment. Credit her with that. Your Reform Judaism “conversion” gives you only one benefit: it allows you to be regarded as “Jewish” within the ambit of Reform Jews, many of whom legitimately are Jews and more of whom are not. It will not be recognized even by many Conservative Judaism rabbis. None of this is about politics. Water is water. A Jew is a Jew. A non-Jew is a non-Jew.
Your subsequent Conservative Judaism “conversion” also is a nullity. Even if you had immersed in a kosher mikveh and not a swimming pool . . . even if the rabbi were male and not female . . . even if you were taught more authentic Judaism and fewer pronouns, your Conservative Judaism “conversion” gives you only one benefit: it allows you to be regarded as “Jewish” within the ambits of both Reform Judaism and Conservative Judaism. It will not be recognized by Orthodox Judaism because it is a nullity. (However, since Conservative Judaism’s youth movement, USY, now is open to inter-dating, your children would have access to USY anyway but not to an Orthodox bar or bat mitzvah. No Orthodox Jew would consider marrying or dating your children. In Israel, you and they will not be considered Jewish.)
Rabbis of Reform Judaism and Conservative Judaism will tell you that “Oh, those Orthodox! It is all politics — just Jewish ‘Inside Baseball.’” Katherine Mary, it is not. It is dead serious. Without a proper Orthodox conversion, your son and daughter never will be allowed to attend an Orthodox Jewish day school (unless (s)he is actively in the process of converting Orthodox). No membership in NCSY, the synagogue youth group. At the end of life, you will not be permitted to be buried alongside your Jewish husband in an Orthodox cemetery if he insists on being buried with his parents there and you agree. Orthodox Jewish prospective spouses will not be permitted to date — and certainly not to marry — your children. If they or your grandchildren travel to Israel someday and emerge inspired to live a more deeply religious life — as happens with thousands of young Jews every year, they will experience a rude and heartbreaking awakening when they learn that you consigned to them a meaningless “conversion” decades earlier, leaving them non-Jewish.
Here are two broadly aggregated examples from my rabbinic encounters in this regard:
1. A couple comprised of a Jewish man and a “Conservative Judaism”-converted woman grew increasingly religious — not devout or practice-observant but more spiritually invested in Judaism — over the years and moved toward Orthodoxy. They found, like a million or more like them, that the Conservative Judaism they had known in the 1950’s and Sixties had wandered so far afield that it now was the same as Reform Judaism. Gay marriages. Lesbian rabbis ands cantors. Rabbis — the Rabbis! — who actually no longer believe that the Jewish people in Biblical times lived in Egypt, were enslaved there, and got out amid Ten Plagues and a splitting of the Sea. Through it all, with the wife having “converted,” they reared their children as Jews. Late one August, their late-teens daughter came back from a summer in Israel and respectfully asked whether Mom had “converted Orthodox” because she learned during her trip that one’s religion follows the mother’s, and a Christian who undergoes a Conservative Judaism “conversion” remains a Christian. So, if Mom’s “conversion” had been a heterodox nullity, she — her daughter — had been born and still was not Jewish. “What’s the practical difference?” the parents asked. “We raised you as Jewish and brought you to temple. You were in USY. You went to Ramah. You can read Hebrew. You fit in here.” The daughter answered: “I met a boy, and his parents wanted to confirm I am Jewish. No ands, ifs, or buts. If I am not, I will need to convert Orthodox. That may take a year or two. His parents won’t let us see each other until that time. Also, it turns out that, if you “converted” outside of Orthodoxy, you and Dad may not be buried together in the cemetery where our family’s previous generation were buried. Dad can, but not you. Also, my 12-year-old brother won’t be able to get a bar mitzvah at our shul. Also, if you converted non-Orthodox, that means — since I am non-Jewish — not only would I have to convert, but then I never may marry a Kohen because they may not marry converts. (By contrast, if you had converted Orthodox to begin with, then it means I was born a Jew — not a convert — so would be allowed to marry a Kohen.) And — yes, you guessed it — my new friend is a Kohen.”
2. A non-Orthodox but deeply committed bonafide Jewish divorced man and woman met each other, fell in love, and set their wedding date. They each were Orthodox-shul-affiliated, though not fully observant. As the marriage approached, they approached their Orthodox rabbi to conduct their wedding. He asked the woman, who he knew to be an Orthodox convert, to please present to him a copy of her conversion certificate. Upon seeing it, he apologized that he could not do their marriage because the conversion had been certified by a questionable “independent” Orthodox rabbinic court, not a universally reputed mainstream one, and that court’s conversions are deemed suspect or outright rejected. (See, e.g., here and here.) Therefore, she either had to undergo yet another Orthodox conversion or hunt for an outlier quasi-Orthodox rabbi who would accept the independent court’s conversion meanwhile. Even so, the suspicions — and ultimate rejections — would follow her children the rest of their lives, and their generation after. Marriageable Orthodox singles would refuse to date and marry her children or grandchildren or great-grandchildren unless they would undergo conversions — all over again — a generation or two later. To preserve the Judaic integrity of her line, the normative mainstream Orthodox rabbi advised her to pursue another Orthodox conversion with a mainstream reputable rabbinic body.
Ms. Goldstein, these examples underscore that, even within Orthodoxy, there are reputable rabbis and institutions, also some outright charlatans, and — most unfortunately — irresponsible rabbis who call themselves “Orthodox” or “Open Orthodox” (sometimes falsely calling themselves Modern Orthodox which, if not purloined, is originally a term for totally Orthodox groups such as Yeshiva Univ. grads who pursue academic studies, etc.- see below) but — by their deeds, their writings, and their inadequate training or licensing by non-preferred seminaries — their “conversions” are and always will be suspect.
They are particularly cruel because they do not at least have the decency to warn their prospective converts that most mainstream Orthodox rabbis and institutions will reject their conversions. That means every time you move to a new community, your next rabbi probably will explain he cannot regard you as Jewish if converted by one of the suspect rabbis or agencies. Your children’s status always will be Judaically suspect or outright rejected. Your grandchildren and beyond will be stuck. Normative Orthodox families will not let your grandchildren marry into theirs. This is not “politics.” This is Halakha (Judaic law).
I have been a rabbi for 43 years. I have seen and experienced it all, and there are several thousand mainstream, normative Orthodox rabbis with mainstream standards identical to mine.
That is why the Rabbinical Council of America (RCA) created, in conjunction with the Chief Rabbinate of Israel, uniform Gerut (conversion) Policies and Standards (“GPS”) for conversion to Judaism and a nationwide network of GPS conversion courts. GPS is the Gold Standard of Orthodox conversion. A conversion certificate from a GPS Bet Din (conversion court) will stand by your family line for all generations to come, not only in America but in Israel, accepted there by the Chief Rabbinate.
It is the only way I have conducted conversions since the GPS courts were established, and it is the way 95 percent and more of my Orthodox rabbinic colleagues proceed. I can point you toward them.
This is not about politics but about the laws for conversion. A conversion must be conducted by rabbis who unequivocally believe in the G-d of the Torah. That means more than “I believe in G-d.” It means the conversion rabbis must believe that every word in the Torah scroll was actually dictated, word by word, letter by letter, by G-d to Moses. It means the rabbis must believe that G-d literally taught Moses an Oral Law on Mt. Sinai that accompanied the Written Law, and both are equally mandated on us.
It means the rabbis must be committed to observing all Torah laws as they are observed in our era. It means the rabbis must believe literally in the World to Come, the Resurrection, and the coming of Messiah. If he does not believe it, how can he demand it of the prospective convert he is mentoring — because the convert must believe it all, too? And the convert must formally undertake to live that fully observant life. You can’t simply say “I believe 100 percent that G-d commanded the Sabbath and kosher laws at Mt. Sinai and the prohibition against homosexuality, but that won’t work for my lifestyle.”
A state bar would not license a new attorney, no matter how brilliantly (s)he excelled in law school and passed the Bar exam, if the attorney refuses to accept the state’s and federal government’s laws. It’s not enough to say “I’ll need to eat non-kosher outside sometimes, but I’ll make my kitchen 100 percent kosher.” So we’ll convert your kitchen to Judaism, but not you.
The most challenging matter for you, Ms. Goldstein, is how to avoid running into a supposedly “Orthodox” rabbinic court for conversion that is not — and never will be — broadly accepted.
For example, there is a movement called “Open Orthodoxy.” They have one seminary that ordains men, “Chovevei Torah,” and a sister seminary that ordains women rabbis, “The Maharat Academy.” They will tell you they are Orthodox rabbis. The two flagship institutions of “Modern Orthodox” (or “Centrist Orthodox”) Judaism reject core teachings of theirs. Both the Rabbinical Council of America and the Orthodox Union formally have decreed in published authoritative rabbinic rulings that women can never be rabbis and may not serve in truly Orthodox congregations as clergy. The male rabbis of "Open Orthodoxy," however, regard the women as rabbis anyway, thus nullifying their own standings and stature. They hire them as rabbis in their congregations. They co-sign “rabbinic letters” with them.
Beyond their “female Orthodox rabbis,” which itself is nonsense, there are "Open Orthodox" rabbis who advocate for “gay marriage” — even conduct them! — even marry homosexuals for themselves! — and a wide range of other forbidden activities. One of them even publicly ordained a flamboyant homosexual who was so vivacious that another "Open Orthodox" agency could not bring itself to jump off that cliff. Similarly, the outlaw women rabbi (“Maharat”) institution celebrates that it ordains lesbians. (Yes, “outlaw” — operating completely outside the law of Orthodox Judaism.)
Predictably, the Rabbinical Council of America does not recognize Chovevei or Maharat ordination as a valid credential for eligibility to join RCA. Many of these "Open Orthodox" rabbis have gone on record advocating many other matters repugnant to Judaism. This is not about politics; it is Judaic law. Some among them have departed so far from normative Orthodox Judaism that they do not even call themselves by the dubious "Open Orthodox" adjective anymore but instead now call themselves “Flexidox” — flexible, you know.
Because some of them conduct their own wildcat conversion mills, they pose an especial danger to people like you, Ms. Goldstein, who do not care about the politics of genderism and transgenderism and simply want, for once and for all, an authentic conversion to Judaism that will be honored down your family line forever. So you would want to avoid their conversion offers like the Plague.
Katherine Mary, you have traveled heroically down a long and difficult, frustrating and aggravating road to get this far. It has been my great honor and opportunity to help guide you to the light at the end of this tunnel. The last conversion you ever will need to undergo — and the only one you ever needed to undergo in the first place — is a conversion to Judaism under the auspices of an officially certified GPS Bet Din (conversion court) of the Rabbinical Council of America, recognized by the Chief Rabbinate of Israel. You can find them online here and here.
Sincerely,
PLEASE: If you intimately know someone who “converted” non-Orthodox to Judaism or who is considering undergoing any form of conversion to Judaism — and you believe that person would read this discussion ewith an open mind — please share the previous and this article with them. — RDF
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